Rich people who purchase big homes in picturesque, tranquil areas of Britain frequently run into a very particular kind of problem it almost always has to do with a swimming pool. Not exactly a scandal. Not a tabloid explosion. Something much more entertaining, but also quieter and somewhat bureaucratic. an argument over planning. a protest from the parish council. A courteously irate letter about the “character of the area”, light, or sewage. Celebrity pools seem to appear on planning committees more frequently these days than on Instagram.
Consider Robbie Williams, whose five-year conflict with Jimmy Page, the guitarist for Led Zeppelin, over an underground pool at his Kensington estate turned into one of the most ridiculous neighborly disputes in recent British history. Williams wanted his Grade II listed home on Melbury Road to have a swimming pool and underground gym.
Page, who has lived next door since 1972, was concerned that his cherished Tower House might be harmed by construction-related vibrations. In the end, the plans were approved by the council, but the conditions were so complex that they included a suggested “big red button” to immediately stop work if something went wrong. It’s difficult to ignore the fact that both men’s disagreement persisted for multiple album cycles.
Then there’s Ant McPartlin, who allegedly spent hundreds of thousands of dollars transforming his Wimbledon house into something akin to a dream home with a swimming pool, Victorian-style changing rooms additions, only to encounter anger from neighbors due to trees that were chopped down. After submitting updated plans and preserving the trees, the couple reportedly made the decision to relocate completely. When you construct your ideal home and the neighborhood pushes back at every turn, it seems like the dream begins to wane a little.
Perhaps the best example is Ed Sheeran’s “wildlife pond” in Suffolk. The kidney-shaped pond, which the council had approved on the strict grounds that it would promote environmental conservation and not be used for swimming, turned into a hot spot when Sheeran was seen on camera plunging into the water with his trunks.
The neighbors weren’t amused. Upon inspection, the council discovered no violations. Later, Sheeran won an appeal to allow recreational use of the pond. Reporters were informed that the singer was “taking the mick” by an unnamed neighbor. “People need to mind their own business” was Sheeran’s direct radio response. Both sides might have a point.
Why do pools in particular continue to involve celebrities in these conflicts? It’s partially physical. Pools are large. They need pumps, drainage, excavation frequently structural work that neighbors can hear, feel worry about. Even small proposals are carefully examined in conservation areas or listed buildings. There’s more going on.
A swimming pool is a representation of leisure, wealth the use of one’s property in a way that implies one is not quite a local. Drainage wasn’t the main issue when Harry Styles submitted plans to combine several Hampstead properties into one expansive compound with a basement pool, movie theater sauna. It had to do with scale. Neighbors bemoaned living next to “a building site all the time”, blocked light the street losing its sense of community.
In a more subdued struggle, Kate Moss opposed a neighbor’s planned garden room, claiming that the village sewage system which the Environment Agency had already deemed “no longer fit for purpose” could not withstand additional stress. In the meantime, James Corden has gathered planning disputes in Belsize Park from paved-over front gardens to leylandii hedges that neighbors referred to as a “oppressive wall of greenery” in the same manner that some people gather parking tickets.
Ego or negligence is not what unites these tales. It’s a more ordinary thing. A pop star’s basement pool is given the same procedural weight in Britain’s planning system as a farmer’s barn extension. Your Spotify numbers don’t matter to conservation officers.
Parish councils have long-standing memories and strong opinions regarding tree preservation orders neighbors particularly those with expensive postcodes know exactly how to draft a formal objection. As a result, there is an odd, recurrent clash between local bureaucracy and celebrity ambition that takes place on planning portals rather than in courtrooms, with updated drawings and CC’d solicitors. It is, in a sense, the most distinctively British kind of theater.